My ex husband and I have a pretty good relationship right now, better than it ever was when we were married. Recently I have been spending a fair amount of time with his family. I took our son to their house to trick-or-treat so he could show them his bat costume. We got talking and stayed for over two hours. A few weeks before that I had to pick Logan up from a birthday party at their house and just last week they invited me over for his brother’s girlfriend’s birthday dinner. I have enjoyed spending time with what used to be my family, but I’m afraid lines are starting to get a little fuzzy. It seems we have all forgotten that we are divorced. Even my ex has gotten a little nostalgic lately and pretended that things are as they once were.
At this point in our lives this kind of relationship works for both parties, but what happens when one of us remarries? Obviously these kind of get-togethers aren’t the most conducive to a new marriage. Though, this family has seen stranger things happen. They encourage those kinds of relationships even after a divorce. But there comes a point when it starts to become unhealthy. While I think it is important to maintain relationships for your children’s sakes, having too much of a relationship can cause some issues down the road. What kind of message does this send to your children? If you are able to have this kind of a relationship with your ex and his family, chances are you really shouldn’t be divorced in the first place. By spending all of this time together you are sending your children mixed signals. You don’t want to give them any false hope that Mommy and Daddy are going to get back together.
Of course you should always do your best to have a good relationship with your ex and his family, but know when to draw the line. How much is too much?