It seems to be human nature to judge—whether we are judging other people, situations or events. As a single parent, sometime our jugmentalism comes from a place of feeling defensive or self-conscious. I know that I wrestle with catching myself judging other people and often it is somehow a reflection of my own feeling about myself. I have to remind myself that I definitely do not like being on the receiving end and feeling so judged, so who am I to judge others?
I think it is incredibly typical for us as single parents to develop a thick shell and come off as judgmental—we are trying to protect ourselves and our children from hurtful outside influences, and we might also feel like our way of life or lifestyle is being threatened or attacked by someone else. But is it really? Is it something that we are creating in our minds because we are feeling threatened or precarious instead of accepting that there are so many different types of people and different opinions and lifestyles too?
I think it is a strange quirk of human nature that we tend to do the very things that we find so annoying in other people, so while I HATE feeling like I am being judged and picked apart by others, there are plenty of times when I catch myself doing the same thing. As a single parent (and as a human being) I know in my heart of hearts that I want to pass on tolerance and acceptance to my children and model that instead of judgmentalism—so I just have to continuously catch and remind myself: Who am I to judge? It helps to recognize why I am doing it and how insecure I might be feeling at the time, but mostly, it just helps me to catch myself and remember that I want to treat other people the way I would prefer being treated as well.
Also: Judging Others
What’s Wrong with Being Single?
When Friends Judge Your Children (or Your Parenting)