I believe that we have people in our lives for reasons. Even those people who are the most challenging can be good learning partners–allowing us to learn important life lessons, develop knowledge and skills, or work on personal development. I still think that we have a great deal of choice in the matter, however, and we don’t have to take in anyone and everyone who crosses our paths. We can choose people who will be positive additions to our lives as our partners on the journey.
I think of my kids and I as being learning partners–after all, some of the biggest “growing up” lessons of my life have been with my kids. While many people would argue that ours are relationships of chance, I do think that we have some choice in the matter. Friends, family members, and even our exes and work relationships can be learning partners. When you look back and see what has come of these relationships–chances are there are plenty of personal growth involved.
That said, we do not always have to let those people in our lives who are the hardest and most challenging! I know this may sound a bit revolutionary to some, but we can choose to say “no” to people who may bring things like addiction, poor boundaries, anger management issues, etc. into our lives. We don’t have to be martyrs and tell ourselves that the more challenging the person or learning partner–the better people we are because we are putting up with! In fact, the best sign of our maturity and personal growth may just be that we have learned how to say “no” to those people who cause us more grief and pain and unhappiness than who actually add positive things to our lives. We may not be able to control everything, but we can exert some control and choose people as learning partners who don’t make things too tough!