So many details and realities of family life are up for debate—constant debate. Who cleans a child’s room is one of those controversial topics which, if you got ten different parents in a room together, you would likely have ten different opinions (or at least three or four different camps of opinions.) So, how does it work in your household?
Some families let children have complete domain over their own rooms. This means that Mom and Dad just shut the door and leave the child to keep it clean—or not—depending on his or her own personal taste and style. In other homes, Mom and/or Dad feel like ultimately the child’s room belongs to them (to the household, family, etc.) and they have every right to set the standard for what is expected in terms of personal housekeeping and tidiness. Many (most?) of us, I think, fall somewhere in the middle—we allow our child some freedom and control over her space, but set some definite rules and expectations around what is expected.
I also think that age has something to do with how many of us approach our children’s rooms. When my kids were little, we spent a lot of time doing joint clean-up in their rooms. While they could do some of the basic stuff, I often found myself in there dredging out from under beds and organizing closets. As they have gotten older, more and more of the responsibility has fallen on them, as well as my increasing respect and appreciation for their privacy. This does NOT mean that they keep things up to my standards and I still will find myself in there scooping up wet towels and hauling out dirty dishes (this really is against the rules, I’ll have you know), but overall, I am letting go more and more and they are taking more and more responsibility for their own upkeep.
In my own youth—I can remember a time or two my mother threatening to come into my room with Hefty trash bags if I didn’t clean things up! Wading through my bedroom to get to my younger sister’s side was not her idea of a reasonable thing to expect. Which brings me to the issue of siblings sharing a room—this can present some issues for parents trying to set housekeeping standards. When different children have different styles and capacity for squalor, this can create some mediation problems for families. Are they expected to clean together? Is each child responsible for his or her own space and possessions?
I would love to hear from other parents about how you manage the “who cleans the child’s room?” question…
See Also: Combatting a Messy Room
Why Does Your Teen Have a Messy Room?