Yesterday, I wrote here in the Single Parents blog wondering how we could really blame our children for wanting to have our attention. As I wrote, I realized that the “dark shadow” of attention-seeking behavior on the part of our kids is how it can affect them when they feel ignored. After all, who really wants to be ignored and is there anything worse than feeling invisible and unimportant?
We may not be intentionally ignoring our child or children—life can get hectic and busy and we might be so wrapped up in our own worries that we do not even realize that we are making them feel invisible. I think an easy-going child can be especially susceptible to being overlooked since these are the ones who do not raise much of a fuss to get attention. A child who is understanding, shy or empathetic may be more worried about our well-being and let themselves melt into the background. It is up to us as parents to make sure that we are NOT ignoring our children and that we keep in contact with them on a regular basis.
When was the last time you checked in with your child and actually noticed what they were up to? Even seemingly ordinary things like noticing that they have outgrown their shoes or have grown an inch or two can be realities that we overlook when we are caught up in other things and these are the very issues that can make a child feel ignored. Surprisingly, it is really the little details and taking time to notice and pay attention that keep a child from feeling ignored. It is noticing who their friends are, when they come and go, commenting on a hair do or the way a particular shirt looks. Whatever you can do to let your child know that you are constantly noticing him and thinking about him will keep your family from getting into a place where the child is feeling invisible, ignored or overlooked.