Children are messy. They can even be incredibly gross, sticky, sloppy and smelly. Most of us don’t think about these little realities when we are planning to be parents—we think about cute, cherubic babies, watching children romp and play in the yard, tossing the baseball or kicking a soccer ball back and forth, or shopping for adorable outfits. The ickiness eludes us until we are knee-deep in ick…and then we adjust.
As you might imagine, I am always a bit horrified when I hear stories of parents where one parent (I don’t want to be sexist here, but it has always been “the dad”) just CAN’T change diapers, give baths, deal with vomit, etc. because it is just too icky. It makes him gag, he can’t handle all that unclean “stuff” that is associated with the child. It amazes me because I don’t understand how it gets to be a choice? If one parent decides NOT to deal with the ickiness, doesn’t that automatically mean the other parent is relegated to it all by themselves? And, what about with single parents, does that parent ever just get to choose NOT to cope with the ick?
We get the whole package when we become parents (both parents, as far as I’m concerned) and just like we don’t get to choose their personalities, we have to adjust to the unpleasant oozings and ickies that come from and are attracted to our children as well. I have never met someone who just couldn’t wait to be a parent just because they loved dealing with poop, pee, vomit, and perpetually runny noses or sticky faces—nobody really wants to deal with all that icky stuff, but we learn how to manage and how to do it because we love our children and want to provide the best care. As far as I am concerned, the choice is in whether to have a child and become a parent (mom or dad) and not what part of the job we will or won’t do.
Also: The Top Ten Reasons You Should Let Your Child Have a Messy Room