I would like the person who named the Terrible Twos to please step forward and tell me just what was so terrible about two? Did the person who actually named the Terrible Twos have a four-year old at any time before naming the twos this? Just wondering, because to me, four is much worse than two when it comes to behaviors.
Before we go any farther, you must know that yes, I do have a four-year old at home. I also have a two-year old at home. My four-year old has been a highly spirited child basically since birth. My two-year old is a breeze of a child. He cries if he gets a time-out, buries his head in my legs when I raise my voice and just basically wants to please his mommy the majority of the time.
Then there is my four-year old. My wonderfully sweet and incredibly smart four-year old son. If I say black, he says white. If I say no, he says yes. If I say jump, he won’t say “How high?” he will say however, “No I won’t do it Mommy.” Yes, welcome to my world, my world with a four-year old. He doesn’t get upset with time-outs, he laughs when I get angry with him, and he isn’t affected by being spanked. He is, however, an angel at preschool.
I am pretty sure on a daily basis that I felt I may scream and tear my hair out in pure frustration. He was so much easier at two than he is at four. I thought they were supposed to show improved behaviors as they got older? My son seems to be doing the opposite.
I have tried several modes to get my sweet little boy to listen to me, to stop whining, to not mimic everything I do, to not mutter under his breath at me, and to stop telling me no. I have thought about calling that Super Nanny woman, but then I realized; I can do this. I am the Mom. I kept severely behavior-disordered kids in check for almost ten years when I was teaching. I should be able to get my four-year old son to listen to me.
I will admit, I think I have finally found a strategy that seems to work with him. It was after a VERY long summer of power struggles and me near tears when my husband got home from work. Yes, I think I may have found the strategy that works for him. He gets two choices for just about everything. This way he has some control, even if it is choosing between going to time-out or stopping the behavior he is doing so that he can continue playing a game, he gets choices and that helps. I may keep my hair after all!
Yes, I am the proud Mommy of a spirited four-year old boy. Don’t get me wrong, I love him more with all of my heart. He is a sweet boy, a smart boy and a loving boy. I just never expected four to be tougher than two. After all, two had a title. We expected terrible at two, someone went so far as to actually name the two’s after something that relates to bad behaviors.
Why did they ignore four? I think my sister-in-law, who is the mother of four children, three almost grown, summed it up the best. She told me, not too long ago, “What they don’t tell you about the Terrible Twos is that it actually starts at two and lasts until five or six.” I think I may just agree to that!
Oh, I will treasure these moments with my four-year old forever. I know soon enough he will be grown and this will all be a memory. I still think though, they need to give four a title. Any suggestions?