This long holiday weekend I’ve been busy cleaning and decorating, which has given me lots of time to think. We all wonder when we get divorced if we are doing the right thing, if maybe we shouldn’t have stuck it out, at least for the kids. I can finally say that I did the right thing. My divorce was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
As I look around my home, at my things, I can be proud that I worked to provide these things for my daughter. When I got divorced my ex husband got everything, including the house and car. For months Hailey and I walked back and forth to the grocery store because we didn’t have a car. When I was married my ex husband constantly told me that everything we had was because of him and his hard work, not me, now I know that’s not true.
I like the person I’ve become, I’m strong, independent and not at all timid like I was when I was married. My ex husband was never physically abusive but he could be verbally and emotionally abusive so I walked on eggshells to try to keep the peace so my daughter didn’t live in a war zone.
I don’t have to do that now. I’m happy and my home reflects that, sometimes it’s a chaotic mess, but that’s ok, no one is going to come home from work and start slamming doors because I didn’t vacuum. I truly have a home that is a sanctuary for Hailey and I. There is no tension or stress, we both speak our mind and know that we are heard.
My ex husband once said to me, right before the divorce that I was happy everywhere but home. When I realized how true that was I knew I had to leave. It was the hardest thing to do, to decide to rip my child from her life, but it was the right thing to do. Now I can be happy all the time because no one is waiting to belittle me and make me feel less than I am. I’m glad Hailey had been raised by me now instead of me then.
I hate to think of who I would be if I had stayed in that relationship. The toll it would have taken on me, on my happiness. Even through all the difficulties I can truly say, for me, divorce was the right choice.