One noticeable trend that I have seen since teaching and working in education is that there is a major shortage of father participation.
When it comes to volunteering for field trip chaperones, volunteering for classroom helpers, and writing teacher notes, moms seem to be at the top of the list.
So what is it about a child’s education that seems to turn fathers off from taking control?
I have several ideas.
First, work comes into play. There are many more stay at home moms than dads. Some dads would love to participate but simply cannot. They work so that their wives can take over in this area. For moms that do work, they tend to be more likely to take off for special school events than dads. Most moms feel a greater obligation to be there for all of their child’s events than dads do. It is not necessarily that the dads do not care. The feelings of responsibility are simply different. Dads feel that supporting the family is their job.
Second, some dads feel inadequate. Many dads are uncomfortable about handling school situations. They fear making the wrong decision. They are less likely to question the choices of a teacher. They also have less of an eye for details. Therefore they are less likely to see the need for writing teacher notes.
Third, many dads are not given the opportunity. When it comes to the children, moms tend to be overbearing. On purpose or not, moms typically jump in and take over without leaving dads much room. Many moms make the decisions without thinking to involve the dads.
My last thought on why dads are not as involved as moms is due to stereotypes. Volunteering and field trips are often thought to be a woman’s priority. Some dads want to take an interest in helping out at their child’s school but they feel that they would be out of place. Many fathers stay away because they feel that they would be the only dad there.