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Why Coaxing, Bribing, and Focusing Too Much on Food Can Cause Problems

I made a few decisions all those years ago when I was expecting my first child that I have stuck to and been glad about. Many other of my “best intentions” have fallen by the wayside or been influenced by the realities of actual, real-life parenting. But one decision I made that has paid off was to never make food an issue. I decided that I wasn’t going to be one those parents who fussed over their kids about eating and I trusted that they would develop healthy eating habits and avoid eating disorders if I just had a laid back, creative, no-pressure approach to food.

I surely didn’t invent this approach and I got plenty of encouragement and support from the doctors and nurses and other “professionals” I came in contact with over the years. I was taught that bribing children (eat your vegetables so you can get dessert), coaxing (oh, just eat one more bite and then you can go out to play) and fussing and paying too close of attention to what children are eating can actually be a root cause of eating issues and disorders.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t pay attention to our children’s health and encourage healthy eating—but trying to get them to finish their plates, eat when they aren’t hungry, stay at the table when they are obviously done eating to take that “one, two, or three more bites” are all ways to create power struggles around food. I had one pediatrician who said kids will eat when they are hungry, if they eat nothing but peanut butter sandwiches for a month, don’t worry about it! It won’t last forever! I breathed a sigh of relief and decided that if I just kept offering healthy choices and modeling healthy eating and food behavior, my kids would be fine.

And, so far they are. I can’t say that they eat the way I would like them too—but overall, no big issues, no power struggles around food, and food is generally a fun, pleasant, galvanizing thing in our family—not something that tears us apart.

See Also: Summer is the Start of the Sugar Wars

Body Image and Our Kids

When Was the Last Time You Ate a Vegetable?