I was talking with another parent a while back and she was sharing some of her current challenges and concerns, I offered a word or two of advice–not really advice, but I shared how I had experienced some similar issues with my own children and what I had done about it. Her response was one I’ve had hundreds of times, and often while reading comments and blogs on this site, “Why didn’t I think of that?!”
Often we just need a little nudging or an idea or two to get our own creative problem-solving juices going. What seemed like the most unsolvable issues can suddenly be illuminated and we feel like we really “knew” the answer in our gut but just couldn’t access it. Isn’t it interesting how some of the best and most useful ideas are those simple ones that we wish we would have thought of on our own? Who is to say that given enough time, we WOULDN’T have thought of the answers on our own anyway!
I think this can be one of the greatest gifts of talking with other parents and being vulnerable enough to ask for help and share the problems and issues that are going down in our families. There is almost always someone who has been through something similar or can share an idea or two that can open things up for us. The first important step is for us to be willing to let our guard down and tell a trusted someone what is going on and what is giving us fits–anything from the smaller things, like household organization or family time management–to wrestling with troublesome behaviors and huge family crisis. Getting some outside perspective, a suggestion or two, and a little help can make a big difference, AND have you asking yourself: “Why didn’t I think of that?!”
Also: Are You Reacting Like a Grown-Up?
Thinking Like a Parent, But with Empathy for the Child