Ours is a blended family, although most people would never realize it unless they asked. My husband has been Dad to my oldest daughter since just before she turned four years old. She’s now 16.
We’ve been down some bumpy roads, and in fact at times, it feels like a roller coaster. Dealing with her grandparents on the other side has been an exercise in frustration, yet she has managed to maintain a relationship with them. I’m glad for that, but it has been an ongoing struggle.
Her grandmother has been very ill, and lost her battle with cancer. My daughter found out last night. As you can imagine, it’s a very difficult situation. She knows that her grandmother and I haven’t exactly been close over the years, so she’s pulling away from me. I hug her and tell her I love her. I am truly sorry for her loss.
I wish things had been different between her grandmother and me and Heaven knows I tried. Her resentment over my marrying my husband and moving away was just too much for her, despite the fact that she has visited often and called almost weekly over the past dozen years.
I know it sounds terrible, but my feelings of resentment haven’t completely subsided either. I’m hurt and maybe a little angry that even in death this woman has once again come between me and my daughter. It’s awful. I feel like a horrible person. All I really want is to comfort my daughter. I hope things won’t be as awkward between my daughter and my husband, as our not so little girl sorts through her feelings.
She cried all night and barely slept but insisted on going to school today. She hugged me and said she loved me before she left, yet I could still sense the tension. I hate that things turned out this way. I wish her grandmother and I could have come to terms at some point. I thought we had at one time, but soon things became strained again. I guess I got tired of trying.
I hope my daughter knows how much I love her and that it hurts me to see her hurting. I hope that other blended families can find ways to resolve their issues before it’s too late. It sure isn’t easy.
Why does life have to be so complicated?