Time…is there any single element of life that the single parent struggles more with than time. There seems to never be enough and we are constantly trying to figure out how to manage it better, manufacture more time, make the best use of the time we have, and parcel it out to all of those who need it accordingly. Therefore, it can be rather painful when we hear from people—family, friends, and our children, that they are not getting enough of our time…
Strangely enough, I often assume that the people in my life understand that I am doing my very best to be as time-efficient and available as possible, but that isn’t always the case. My children still get hurt if they think I am not making time to be available to them even though I would think that after several years of being part of a single parent family, they would realize that I am juggling a bunch of balls here. Still, they want me to be available and have time for them when they need me.
The same can be said of friends and family—while they may “understand” that I have other commitments and realities tugging on my time, they are not necessarily happy to have to wait or share my time with others. Recently I had a friend call and leave a long message on my voice mail asking if I was “mad” or “upset” at her because I hadn’t called or invited her to do anything in a couple months. Despite the fact that I felt a bit manipulated, I still felt I had to try to make amends and be available for her when she needed a friend.
I wish I had secret tips or answers to this feeling we single parents have that we are not “managing” the unmanageable time well enough. I have found that my experience as a single parent has made me very patient and understanding of other’s time—whereas I used to get irritated along with the best of them, I no longer take it personally or assume that someone just doesn’t have time for me if they are busy. On the flip side, I also try to get and keep people in my life that are respectful and understanding of my time, but this isn’t always so easy.
All we can do as single parents is our best—prioritize and try to achieve some sense of balance—we cannot be everything to everyone all the time!
Also: Is Balance Even Possible?
Have You Heard the Term “Time Poverty”?