Traveling through life as lightly as possible is much easier said than done—especially if we’ve been through a traumatic situation like a death, separation, or divorce that has contributed to our becoming single parents. Even for those of us who choose single parenthood might have some “baggage” around our becoming parents that is weighting us down and keeping us from being entirely present and joyous with our children. The key to letting go and getting on with things—is forgiveness.
Carrying around all that resentment and regret can get pretty heavy! Now, I’m the first person to admit how incredibly hard forgiving is—it feels like the most natural thing in the world to hold on to all that history and tell ourselves we are using it to keep from committing the same mistakes again. It took me a long time to learn that forgiveness doesn’t mean that we forget and ignore what has happened, but that we learn from our mistakes and discomforts and then release them—forgive and let go so that we can move forward in life lighter and available.
With three children to raise, I realized that in order for me to be present and accessible for them, not to mention available to appreciate every day of my life as a parent, I was going to have to forgive and let go of the resentments I was carrying from my “old life.” Otherwise, I was just living the old hurts and mistakes over and over again in my head and heart and didn’t have any room for the present. It took my realizing that my children deserved a joyous and accessible mom for me to finally process through the forgiveness necessary to move into the present. After all, I was only hurting my kids and me with all that resentment. In order to embrace the realities and challenges and single parenting, experiencing forgiveness is key.
See Also: Being Grateful for the Help We DO Get and Giving Our Children Better Language After Divorce