I, too, am what is known as a “helicopter parent.” I have a hard time letting my little one go very far on his own. I’ve been this way from the day he was born. Perhaps it was because it was such a challenge to get him here. Being a month early he spent some time in the NICU. Seeing him with all those little wires hooked up to him was terrifying. I felt so helpless. This little person who I had carried in my belly for eight long months was now vulnerable to the world. I wanted nothing more than to be able to shield him from the harsh realities of this life. So I kept him close and did everything I could to keep him from ever having to go through any pain. If he started to wobble, I was right there to catch him when he fell.
Then the unthinkable happened. Try as I might I could not protect him from the pain of our divorce. Luckily, he was very young and didn’t understand the dynamics of everything, but he certainly felt the changes and he has most definitely had to find a way to cope with the effects as he has gotten older. I began to hover even more. I felt guilty for the pain he had to go through because of choices that were out of his control, so I did everything in my power to keep him from having to experience the pain of anything else in his young life. Unfortunately, this made him rely on me a little too much. When he started daycare he didn’t know how to play with other kids; he didn’t know how to stand up for himself; and worst of all he literally came unglued when he found out I wasn’t going to be right there by his side the entire time. He didn’t know what to do without me.
As time has gone on he has begun to develop friendships with his teachers and other kids. He still doesn’t like that Mommy isn’t there with him, but he doesn’t fall apart every time I leave the room anymore. I have to admit, a part of me will always be that “helicopter parent;” it’s just who I am. I want to know where he is and what he is doing. I like to be close by in case he needs me. But as hard as it is, I am learning to let go little by little, so that he too can learn from the trials in his young life. I may not be able to catch him when he falls, but I will always be right there to help him back on his feet.