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Why it Doesn’t Feel Like Sacrifice

The other day I was chatting with a friend of mine who does not have kids and in a casual conversation I was just talking about things that were going down in my little family household. This friend said something to the effect of: “I don’t know how you can always be sacrificing for your kids that way!” It caught me off guard as I realized that I don’t usually feel like I’m sacrificing at all…

Little things like taking a lukewarm shower so that my kids can have a hot one when we’re all trying to get ready to go at the same time; staying up past my bedtime to chat with a teen about a broken heart or particular stress; letting someone else have the last bowl of ice cream, glass of milk, piece of cake or steak; staying in on Friday and/or Saturday nights to be with my kids; staying up late to make sure everyone gets home safe; getting up early to get work done before the rest of the family rises—I know full well that these are just common realities for many parents. We make adjustments and accommodations for the well-being of our families. I definitely do not feel like I am giving up myself or feel the slightest bit resentful for all of these ordinary adjustments. They really don’t feel like sacrifices to me at all, they feel like being a parent.

Another person told me about a month or so ago that she would never have kids because she did not want to have to make any adjustments to a life that she loved. I think this kind of self-awareness is certainly good, but I also think that we parents know that for all those adjustments we have made and the commitment to our kids that come with family life—there are so many perks and pluses too–perks and pluses that you just don’t get any other way.