Over the last couple of blogs we’ve looked at predetermining choices for spouses and family. I’m adamant making decisions together is a far better way to go in marriage. Why?
Let me give you some reasons. It’s better for your marriage. Each person feels more involved in the choices made. It strengthens your marriage and you learn to take responsibility and learn from your mistakes together.
Another reason is the responsibility doesn’t rest on one person. This can be come very stressful for the person responsible for always making the decisions. Of course it also means that if the decision goes wrong than that person who made the decision gets the blame. They may also feel their partner blames them and this is not good for a marriage.
As an example when Mick and I moved from Sydney, we made the decision together after a lot of discussion and prayer, which is the way we make all major decision. When things did not turn out as expected, there were no accusations because we were both equally involved in making the decision. The same when we moved here, it was a joint decision. In this case it has turned out so much better than we expected and we both rejoice in the decision and thank God for bringing us here.
Obviously I’m talking about major decisions, like where you live, number of children, work situation, finances, etc. It’s not for every little thing ‘I’ve got to ask my husband,’ or ‘I’ve got to ask my wife,’ although before I accept an invitation or invite friends for meals I always check with Mick first. He always checks with me before agreeing, just in case there’s something happening one of us have forgotten about.
Similarly yesterday Mick went shopping, as I’m currently engaged in a time consuming writing project. I’d asked him to get a few packets of the gluten free rice flakes and corn flakes on special. He came home with extra packets of different types of cereal also on special. Why? Because he saw them and thought I’d like more variety. His motive was thinking of me, and pleasing me, so he made an on the spot decision. Similarly I recently bought him a DVD and book because I thought he’d like them, as well as some things he’d asked for. In each case the motivation for the on the spot solo decision was to please the other person.
Related blogs
Predetermining Choices in Marriage
What Does It Mean To Be Head of the Household?
Keeping the Happily Ever After