I have noticed how often parents who stay at home refer to themselves as “lucky” or “fortunate” to be able to do that—stay home and not have to work outside the home. I have to admit, however, that many of the working parents I know and have known feel fortunate to be able to work too. It just seems to be less socially acceptable for us to confess that we feel like lucky parents and people to be able to work and be parents too. I thought it might be time to tell the other side of the story.
There are so many different types of parents and so many different ways to approach parenting and family life that I am not one of those people who thinks there is one right way and many wrong ways to do it. We are just such diverse people and we live in different cultures, environments, etc. and certainly have different needs. I do not subscribe to the belief system that there is one way to raise children that is “best” and I think we bring so much of our own attitudes, values and belief systems to parenting and that really makes a big impact on how well we parent and how happy our families are.
Over the years, I have spent most of my parenting years also working, other than a couple years when my kids were very small (and this was not really my choice), I have worked both outside the home for other people and worked building my own businesses. I feel like I can share some of the reasons that working parents can feel lucky and fortunate too:
1. It is great to feel financially independent and capable of contributing and taking care of the financial needs of a family.
2. Many of us feel lucky to have marketable skills and feel fortunate to be able to contribute to our communities and the world in different ways.
3. Our kids grow up appreciating and respecting our jobs and know us both as a parent and as an adult moving around in the community.
4. We get a break from being “on” as a parent and are able to come back refreshed and focused.
5. We have a life in place when the kids get older and start to need us less and less.
6. We feel fortunate to be able to afford to pay for things for our families (not necessarily extravagant things but things like summer camp, sports, activities and college.)
7. We get to meet new people and make friends outside of the parenting realm that often benefit our lives as parents and become part of our support systems.
Again, I really do think that there are so many different ways to go about parenting. The point is that we can feel lucky and fortunate whether we are working parents or stay at home parents. So much is written about guilt and angst and parents trying to do “the right thing” that I think it is nice to be able to focus on what feels good and right for each individual parent.
See: Who Are All the Working (Outside the Home) Mommies? in our FORUMS section
Is Being a Homemaker as Important as Working Outside the Home?