Marriage advice across the board says that you should never take your spouse for granted. Taking your spouse for granted is like shooting your marriage in the foot, they say. You know what? I disagree. I think taking your spouse for granted is one of the best things you could possibly do in your marriage. Keep reading and I’ll explain.
If you can’t your spouse for granted then who can you take for granted? Who else in this world can you expect to be by your side no matter what? Who else can you rely on to always have your best interest at heart? Taking your spouse for granted, for me, means that you’ve built up a strong base of trust. You know that you can count on that person to be in your corner. You can count on that person to be faithful and true. There is no need to jump through hoops or pretend to be someone that you aren’t in an effort to impress your spouse.
Ah, now here is where I got sneaky on you. There is a difference between taking your spouse for granted, meaning that you are comfortable and secure in your relationship, and taking advantage of your spouse. It all comes down to your happy appreciation versus your entitled assumption.
You certainly don’t want to treat your spouse like a doormat. And please don’t act as though you are the center of the universe (even if your spouse thinks you are). Take it for granted that your spouse loves you and be secure in that trust, but at the same time give that security right back to your spouse by telling how much this person is the one you want to be with no matter what. Thank him. Remind yourself why you are in the relationship. Do those extra pounds or receding hairline really matter? Can your spouse take it for granted that you still love him?
Different people and different couples have different tolerances. But one thing that I always find endearing, if not charming, is the way that couples can often relax around each other and take it for granted that they won’t be judged. Leaving the bathroom door open or passing gas in front of your partner are two examples. Being able to strip tease or sing off key at the top of your lungs are two others.
So go ahead and take your spouse for granted.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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