It’s bound to happen sooner or later. Either you or your ex will get remarried, or at least in a serious enough relationship to involve the kids.
I always had a step father, my birth father died when I was a toddler so it was never a big deal. My stepfather was always my Daddy. I knew I had another father when I was born, but Dad was always there and that was what mattered.
My ex husband is in a serious relationship, he and his girlfriend have moved in together. My daughter vowed to never see him again. She was not at all happy about sharing her father, full time.
We have learned a thing or two about accepting this new development:
1. Always speak highly of this new person. You don’t have to like him/her, but try to find something positive to say, even if it’s only that you like their car.
2. Insist on politeness and respect at all times. After all, this is how you want your children to treat a new person in your life.
3. Make sure to include the new person in events in your child’s life. Invite them to plays at school, birthday parties, etc.
4. Let your child know it’s ok to like this new person, maybe even to love them one day.
5. Most of all, don’t make a big deal out of it.
Every home is going to have different rules, don’t automatically assume that anything your child doesn’t like is the new person’s fault. If there is really an issue, talk to your ex and see what can be done about it.
It’s taken a while but I think my daugther is finally starting to come around. For Mother’s Day she bought a card and a candy bar for her father’s girlfriend and apologized for being such a brat to her.
My daughter has a great sense of humor so I always refer to her father’s girlfriend as Stepmommy or Wicked Step Monster. My daughter knows I’m joking and I think it helps her relax a little and see that it’s ok.
Remember, this ain’t no fairytale and not all step parents are evil.