It’s funny how much things change from generation to generation. My grandparents were married for over fifty years when my grandmother died. For their generation staying married was what they did, no one looked anywhere else, they took what they had and made the best of it. My grandparents adored each other but that’s not to say they didn’t drive each other crazy sometimes too, but they stuck it out, through the good and the bad.
When I was growing up my family was the odd one out. My father died when I was three so I had a step father. We were the only family on our block that had a step anything. There were eight families on our street and my brother, sister and I were the only ones who didn’t have the same last name as their parents.
Fast forward thirty five years. Our family is now the norm. It seems like the stats go in the opposite direction now. When I think about my daughters friends, they all have step parents. The people I work with, are or have been divorced. Our children are no longer misfits. Unfortunately they are part of a crowd now.
I only hope our children can reverse this trend. I hope that as hard as it’s been for them to come from a divorced family, they’ve learned something. I hate to say I hope they try harder, everyone I know who is divorced feels like they did the absolute best they could to make their marriage last, but I do hope they try harder.
What is the right thing to do? Stay in a bad marriage? No one should stay in an abusive situation but there are lots of marriages that fall apart simply from lack of interest. Does that mean you should stay, for the kids? I hope our children learn to love better, learn to work harder, learn that nothing worth having comes easy.
I’ve always said that marriage is the hardest work there is, even when it’s good it’s hard work. I only hope that our children know the value of that hard work and are willing to put in the time and effort it takes to have a marriage that lasts. I want Hailey to have what my grandparents had, a love that lasts a lifetime.