A couple of days ago, we talked about the fact that yes honey, I do have a job and we heard from wives who are facing this same problem with their husbands. One reader asked the question of how do you communicate this message to them. I gave a response in the comments section, but I thought it deserved a little more discussion here.
Bringing Home the Bacon
When we as wives, work from home, we do so for a variety of reasons. For myself, personally, it has to do with the fact that I want to be here for my daughter. I wanted to be here while she was growing up. Now that she is in school, I want to be home for her when she gets done with school. I want the flexibility of being able to set my own hours so I can attend school functions, participate as a room mom and much, much more.
Balancing that desire to be at home for your family with a working schedule that allows you to make money is far from easy. In fact, most people who hear that I work from home all nod their heads and say “oh.”
That oh is significant. About four years ago, we were filling out an application to set up a home loan so we could buy our house. There was a section about employment, I listed self-employment and indicated the monthly amount I made. When we got the papers back to sign, you know what they put down under employment?
Homemaker.
There’s Nothing Wrong With Homemaking
There’s nothing wrong with being a homemaker, but when you make a decent income all the while saving money on daycare and still being here to look after the house, the kids and the dinner – being labeled just a homemaker can feel like a slap in the face. My husband thought it was funny and I was understandably upset.
I pulled out a white board (he’s very fond of the white board concept) and then I broke it all down for him. I had several completed projects under my belt and several regular clients who came back to me again and again for work. I listed the income made from each job and put totals down – by comparison, I listed his income for the same period of time.
The amusing part of this exercise is the three-month period I covered, I made more than he did. His reaction was priceless, he sat back with a ‘huh’ expression. Then I told him that since we were now equal in the financial department, we needed a little more equality in other aspects of our lives. He agreed, totally, then I told him he could do his own laundry and that he had to split out other household tasks.
This was reminiscent of when we both worked before. It was actually pretty hilarious the first few weeks that this went on and then one day I took pity on him and I took care of all of his chores along with mine. He was a great deal more appreciative.
We still go back and forth on this from time to time. Then he has these moments where he thanks me for being there for our daughter. Even when we hit a rough patch where we might do better if I headed back into the more permanent land of the office job; but he never supports that idea. He wants me to do what I enjoy both on the work and the home front – that means I’m a wife that works from home and re-educating him from time to time to the fact that yes honey, I do have a job and I am an equal participant in bringing home the bacon.
As a total side note – he cooks as well as I do and cooks dinner more often than I do.
Be sure to check out the home business blog for great tips on starting and running your home business.