One of several treasured gifts I was given recently was a copy of ‘The Friendly Persuasion’ by Jessamyn West. The movie, Friendly Persuasion, adapted from this book is my all time favorite movie. I have read the book before but it is one of those few pieces of fiction I will read again and again. I love the picture of marriage shown between Jess and Eliza Birdwell.
In the movie one of my favorite parts is the incident where Jess gets an organ delivered. Music goes against the Quaker way and Eliza is adamant the instrument will not enter the house. Can I say at this point if you haven’t seen the film treat yourself and get the DVD of it? It’s one you can watch with the whole family.
The problem arises because Jess knows Eliza’s strong convictions, (She is after all a Quaker minister) but he goes out and buys the organ anyway. Eliza in turn aggravates the situation by the words and the tone she adopts.
Yes, I know this is fiction, but I would suggest since Jessamyn West grew up in a Quaker Household, that it is probably fiction based on fact. And anyway, I believe sometimes fiction reflects life more clearly to us than biography or autobiography.
Could you honestly say you have never been guilty of adopting the wrong words and tone in a situation, and only succeeded in making the problem worse? I know I can’t. I don’t have to look far- only back to yesterday, to know there are times I regret the way I handled a situation and let anger and frustration dictate my tone, voice level and words.
The old saying ‘you can catch more flies with honey’ is true. Sometimes in our marriages, as in all relationships, we just need to take a deep breath, take stock of the situation and think about the best way to handle it. It may be that a gentle tone and calm, honeyed words will achieve more than a shouting match or rigidly sticking to our own point of view and standing up for what is perceived as ‘our rights.’
Please visit these related blogs
Friendly Persuasion -Movie Reviews.