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Worry, Control and Judging

What are the three things that can plaque a mother? It is worry, control and judging.

And I would guess these are common issues for most mothers. It doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in, they can swoop in and overtake you.

Why do we worry? Sometimes it is out of genuine concern. But other times our worry is based on a lack of trust or that everything won’t turn out exactly the way we think it should.

Worry can keep us up at night. It has for me.

It can consume you so much that you can’t even enjoy life. It can become literally debilitating. In fact, Corrie Ten Boom has said it well, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

What about control…that need to have our hand on everything. It isn’t good for us but it certainly isn’t good for our children. In fact, that is the very thing that will turn them away from us.

Yet we often try to exert control over them so that we can protect them. But the reality is that it can have the opposite effect. They run so far and so fast, that they can end up in worse trouble.

William Penn has said, “No man is fit to command another that cannot command himself.” It’s so true. Oftentimes it is a lack of control in our own lives that feeds the frenzy of trying to control our children.

Now think about judgment. We don’t like to be the target of it, yet we are quick to dish it out. Sometimes we judge our own children.

They don’t seem to be turning out quite like we had expected. We don’t care for their style, their choosing of friends, the music they listen to and so on. The more we judge, the further we push them away.

Mother Theresa said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Ouch.

We all battle with worry, control and judging. But are we willing to conquer these issues? As mothers we must.

Which do you find the hardest to overcome?

Related Articles:

Learning to Forgive Ourselves

Becoming a New Kind of Mother

Are You a Reactor or a Responder?

Photo by anitapatterson in morgueFile

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About Stephanie Romero

Stephanie Romero is a professional blogger for Families and full-time web content writer. She is the author and instructor of an online course, "Recovery from Abuse," which is currently being used in a prison as part of a character-based program. She has been married to her husband Dan for 21 years and is the mother of two teenage children who live at home and one who is serving in the Air Force.