A recent comment on Ed’s blog Black Males Are Lagging Academically
refers to “the heartbreaking moment when a child discovers he is Black”. I think my Asian daughter had a similar experience this past month.
At a recent meeting of adoptive parents, we heard the speaker say, again, that parents of color prepare their children for racism before it happens and we should do the same. We were all resistant, saying we didn’t want to put it into our children’s heads that bad things would happen, maybe it would be a while yet, we live in a largely Asian city, etc. But I decided I’d better at least start giving Meg (age 7) models of how other people have dealt with racism.
Book displays for Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Black History Month provided an entrée. I found a board book on the life of Martin Luther King Jr. for very young children. It showed pictures of segregated schools and restaurants and explained that when Martin grew up he worked to change these things. I read the book to my 4-year-old, Regina, at a time when Meg would overhear. (She said board books were for babies but I knew she was listening.) She didn’t react much, at least not outwardly.
Next I came across the book When Marian Sang,about singer Marian Anderson. Aha! I had my hook—Meg loves singing. I knew this story would engage her emotionally.
The book talks about Marian growing up singing with her sisters and at church, and how she dreamed of singing on stage. It told how she had to go to Europe to be accepted as a singer, and then in small venues in the U.S. to segregated audience. Even after she was famous she was not allowed to sing at Constitution Hall. Later she was invited to sing at the Lincoln Memorial.
Meg was fascinated. She showed new interest in the Martin Luther King book also. Suddenly she interrupted, “Mom, what am I? I mean, I know I’m brown, but…” she trailed off.
“You’re wondering whether they would have treated you the same way?” I asked gently.
“Yes,” she confirmed.
I don’t know if an Asian child would have been placed in the African-American school if she’d lived in Georgia in the 1950s, but I bet she wouldn’t have been in the white one. And I’m pretty sure she’d be considered “colored” as far as water fountains go.
I looked Meg in the eye and spoke softly. “Yes, they probably would have in lots of places,” I said. She nodded. I sensed that she needed time to process before we talked more.
Later she learned what the children’s book had not said, that Martin Luther King had been shot. “They did what??” she said in disbelief. “They killed him? Why?—Because he was Black?”
“And because he tried to change things, and some people don’t want change,” I said somewhat lamely.
I’m not sure what’s next. I remember seeing a children’s book somewhere about Ruby Bridges, a Black child who integrated a school against hateful opposition. I can’t believe she was just my Meg’s age. The book also told about the white people who helped her. I think that will be important for Meg to see also.
Next I’ll check out the book Chinese Eyes. I haven’t read it yet but it’s one of the few I’ve seen for young children which has a Korean character facing racism.
I know I need to cement our friendships with our acquaintances of color so that Meg will have real live role models in her life too. But books give us a context for introducing the issue.
I’ll keep you posted on what happens next.
Please see these related blogs:
Students Should Be In School Today. . .