I have finally found peace with the fact that I’m no longer breastfeeding, but at the same time, I have moments where I still feel sad. I’m sure that is perfectly normal. Today at the park, I saw a mom breastfeeding, and couldn’t help but long for that a little.
This weekend, we went to a family event, and I saw another mom with a baby just a week older than my own who was nursing. I couldn’t help but look at her and have mixed emotions. On one hand, I was grateful to not feel self conscience about nursing in public (something I had gotten over mostly after 3 kids, but still hated it in large groups), but I also felt a pang of sadness. I looked at my little baby sleeping peacefully in his carseat though and got a feeling of reassurance that I had made the right choice.
As I was talking to this mom, who turned out to be my husband’s cousin’s wife, I started talking to her about all the issues I had with nursing. I mentioned my stash of breastmilk I had in my freezer that I was afraid was going to go to waste. You see, I had recently tried giving him a bottle of it and we had a bad day of refluxing and no naps, so it pretty much sealed the deal for me that he was not tolerating something still. So, as I was telling her all about it, she said, “I’ll take your breastmilk!” It really was a perfect scenario. I knew you could donate it, but there is extensive screening involved, and selling it on the internet just seemed wrong to me. But, giving it away to family that had a baby the exact same age seemed perfect! She came over later and took it, and I was happy to give it.
In our society, some may find this odd to share your breastmilk with another Mom, but is it really all that odd? I don’t think so. If you look at history, you will find that women often were wet nurses for other babies, and I’m sure it was not uncommon to watch another person’s child and nurse them if necessary. You do want to be careful with doing anything risky, however, like purchasing breastmilk online from someone you don’t know.
I am grateful that I was able to breastfeed my baby for 6 months. Yes, I’ve done longer with my other children, but with all of his issues, 6 months seems like it was a huge accomplishment. I’m sure that I will feel sad from time to time, but it is also wonderful to know that the choice was right for us, and we are both doing amazingly well because of it.