Dealing with worries and fears is definitely not a challenge that is unique to single parents. But, I do think that we have some particular fears and stressors that are associated with the realities of being a single parent that can take some special care to work through and cope with. Single parents might have fears that they will not be able to adequately support their child or children, or worry about what will happen to the child if they become ill or injured (or die). Depending on the divorce situation, custody issues and safety may also be a consideration. While we may not be able to eliminate these fears altogether, we can work to diminish and cope with our added worries.
Being able to acknowledge and say our fears and worries out loud can be a big help. Having trusted friends and family members, or even garnering the help of a therapist or professional who can help us identify and work through our single parent worries can be the major first step in tackling the fear. By having trusted adults to talk these things through with, we are less likely to pass on our fearfulness to our kids.
Making sure that we proactively put things in place to deal with these fears is another important step. Writing up a Will, choosing a guardian, purchasing adequate life or supplemental health insurance, putting the legal protections in place, and making sure we have the resources to turn to in case of a crisis will help to alleviate some of our fears. Just knowing that we’ve taken care of these things the best we can might help to put the mind at ease.
As time passes, and we build a support system and become increasingly strong and comfortable in our role as single parents, some of these fears and worries will diminish. Parenthood, of course, can be a state of perpetual worry as we want the best and safest world possible for our children–but we can work to let go of some of the insecurities unique to life as a single parent.
See Also: Behaving “As If” it is a Choice and Learning To Trust Our Own Judgment