When you are a single parent sometimes, you feel alone. You don’t know what to do or where to turn for help. We all have friends and family that we can talk to but will they understand? If all of your friends and family are raising their children in two parent households they may not understand how you feel or be able to understand the challenges that come from being a single parent. Often we feel like people will judge us for our choices, even if they don’t say it out loud, we are afraid they are thinking we did this to ourselves.
So we don’t ask for advice, don’t reach out and let people know we are stressed and overwhelmed. We bottle it up, which is much worse for us and for our children. You don’t have to go through this alone; there are many places to turn. I can’t imagine what it felt like to be one of the first single parents, when divorce wasn’t so common, how lonely that must have been.
Luckily for us, there are so many people in the same situation, people who do understand and won’t judge us. If you have a friend or family member who is a single parent, talk to them first. They know you and know your child, and they’ve probably been there and done that.
If no one close to you is divorced talk to your pastor, minister or bishop, he won’t judge you and he may be able to put you in touch with another single parent at church or even a single parents group. If all else fails, turn to the internet. There are online support groups for everything. You can read what other people are going through and how they have handled it. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to and if you do, remember, you have the anonymity of being on the other side of a computer screen. Even reading Mommy blogs can be helpful. Some of the stages your child goes through have nothing to do with the divorce, they are just a normal part of their development.
It’s wonderful that we can make friends online with people we would never have the opportunity to meet. People who share your beliefs and values, people who know what it’s like to have a child with a bedwetting problem, or anger issues.
Most importantly, reach out to someone, anyone, you may find that you are doing it right, you may make a new friend and most of all you will learn- this too shall pass.