Just like most of you, I take my role as a parent rather seriously. I truly believe that I am a role model and an “example” for my kids. Does this mean I think I am perfect or that I even try to be? Okay, maybe there have been times when I TRIED to be perfect-but the truth is, I can be a good example and a decent role model, but I definitely cannot be perfect!
I really do want my kids to know that I am a flawed human being, not at all perfect but trying all the time to improve and do the right thing. I think when children think their parents are “perfect” or that the parents think they are “perfect” it can make the children feel estranged or like they will never be able to live up to those standards. Not to mention, if they think their parents are trying to pass themselves off as perfect–then when they finally do discover the human flaws of mom and/or dad, it can be shocking and life-altering!
So, while I do want my children’s respect and I do take my “job” as an example quite seriously, I also remind my kids that I am a human–a human with flaws, opinions, values, etc. that are mine and not “universal”–my way is not the only way to live life that is for sure. I think that by letting our children know that we are doing our best, and that we are trusted authority figures, but that we are works in progress too, we are giving them the space to both strive for goodness, and be flawed and human too. Besides, as we all know, it can get very lonely up there on a pedestal and it is an invitation to be knocked off!
Also: You Don’t Always Have to Win
Keeping Family Issues in Perspective
Encouraging Kids to Think for Themselves