I know that it does not always seem like peacefulness and family life go hand-in-hand–especially for some single parent families. I also have learned, however, that we do have some choice in our environment and how we react. We can, as parents, choose peace over an argument or over having to be in charge or right and that peacefulness can have a positive, lasting influence on our families.
The fact is, our children will NOT always choose peace first. They may want a fight or a power struggle or they may feel like having a bit of a fit is the only way they can come close to getting their own way. We are the adults, however, and while we may be exhausted and stretched and a part of us may be looking for a fight too–we are more mature and better equipped to actually choose a peaceful reaction instead.
It took me many years before I realized that I had this kind of control over my family life. I hadn’t realized that I could actually choose peace over fighting or struggling with my children–even when I was saying “no” or setting limits. My very approach and the fact that I made up my mind to NOT get into power struggles or have to be right or “on top” led to my being able to create a more peaceful environment. I learned that this not only worked with my kids and in our little family life, but it also worked in dealing with my children’s father, work situations, and extended family. If I let go of the need to prove myself and be the one who was right, I could have more peaceful interactions and an overall environment of peace instead of struggle and hostility.
I still have to remind myself of this little morsel of truth, however, but overall, we can create more peaceful environments just by making the choice.
Also: It Doesn’t Feel Like I’m Overreacting at the Time!
Peace in Marriage: Anger Management