Single parents often feel very alone, almost like you’re the only one in the world facing these particular problems and challenges. Although everyone does have their personal uphill battles, according to the US Census Bureau, in 2006 there were 12.9 million one-parent families in the United States. Of those, 10.4 million were single mothers. Assuredly, today there are millions more. So, the good news is that we really aren’t alone. The bad news is, it’s still a tough job fulfilling so many roles.
Is it really possible to be everything to your child or children? As a self-proclaimed workaholic and Super Mom, I wish I could say that it is indeed possible. Unfortunately, I’d be lying. Single parents do the best they can, but unless you’re independently wealthy, have the patience of a saint, and the child-rearing knowledge of Dr. Spock, it’s just not possible. The old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child” is so very true.
So how do you assemble this village? Where do you go and whom do you begin to trust?
Obviously, you’re the major role model in your child’s life. You try to be mother, father, educator, friend and everything else. But you need time for yourself and having another mentor for your kids can be beneficial for everyone involved.
For mother’s who are raising children on their own, you can ask an uncle, grandfather, or male friend you trust to spend time with your kids at least once a week. Single dads can ask an aunt, grandmother or female friend. If your child has an opposite gender adult to spend time with and talk to, this can take some of the pressure off you, especially when it comes to answering questions you may not feel comfortable with. For example, single parents may have a hard time explaining body changes when their child starts going through puberty, especially if their child is the opposite sex.
Children also need a safe place for recreation after school and/or on weekends. One of the best places I’ve found is the local Boys and Girls Club. My kids have taken Tae Kwon Do classes, basketball, crafts, and many other classes through them. Churches are also good, especially for summer activities.
Never feel that you have to fill every role when it comes to raising your child. There are people and places that can offer help, guidance, support and a few hours of time off for you to relax.