It is not how you win or lose, but how you play the game. That is what they tell the people who don’t win, just before they celebrate the winner. It makes the pep talk had to swallow. Still, it is pretty much true.
Each year my daughter competes in one pageant/ talent competition or another, this year and one other time, it was on a national level. This meant competition was tough. While winning was the goal, doing her personal best is what we, her family expected from her. In meeting the goals set for by her parents, and herself, she has made us proud and is happy with the outcome, even in the face of loss. We have to remember that even in getting to this point; she had to win previous battles.
In homeschooling, we often measure our kids against each other to help us figure out whether or not we have done a good job in educating our kids. We learned this mode of measurement in our own public school journeys. When I began homeschooling, I have to say I was a bit surprised to find the conversations of a bunch of homeschooling moms was not very different from that of a groups of public school moms. Someone asks how kids are doing and lists of accomplishments and measurements are rattled off. This is not necessarily a criticism, just the truth about how we ALL measure academic success.
I have also met some homeschooling moms who do not measure their kids in this way. Instead they will say, “Timmy made great strides in math this year after stagnating for the last two years”, or “Sally suddenly developed a love for reading this year and has read a record number of books”. While this may not be measurable to the world around us, it is meaningful to the child, and to the parent. It is also a reason for the child to be proud even if he is an eighth grader doing 6th grade math.
So remember, even when your child falls short of a societal goal, remember that while it is nice to win and be the best at a particular thing, it is even better to see a child make a huge jump in their personal abilities. Do not stop to celebrate these accomplishments.
read:
Is Teaching To Grade-Level Standards The Only Way To Go
Helping Your Child Achieve His Personal Best