Many of us come to our role as single parents through loss—we lose our partner relationship through separation, death, or divorce. Others of us may choose to become single parents from the very beginning. We all may find that once we become single parents, we may have to let some of our friendships and relationships go because they are either not supportive or not conducive to life as a family…
Ending relationships is seldom easy and certainly not something most of us find fun. It can take a lot of effort and vulnerability to find and make friends, and nurture along relationships over the years. But, many of us find that our lives as parents and supporting and caring for a family become so central to our lives and some relationships are neither compatible, nor healthy for our lives as parents (or for the lives of our children).
I have found that over the years as a single parent, some relationships just sort of dissolve or drift away, while there have been others that I have had to make the painful decision (and make the awkward effort) to end. Of course, for all of those relationships that must be ended, there have been a few incredible gems—people who have become extended family and true joys to my children and myself. But, I have had to make that tough decision to end a friendship with someone who was either a poor influence on my children, or who was neither understanding nor supportive of my single parenthood or the chaos of family life.
Just because you realize that a relationship needs to be terminated, it will not necessarily make it easy to do. You can still have compassion even though you are being direct and doing what it best for you and your family. It takes some care to end a relationship without getting caught up in dysfunction or attacking the other person. Just keep your focus on what is best for your family and let your conscious and intuition be your guide.
Also: Single Parents and Risk–Healthy or Unhealthy
Why Single Parents Need Other Single Parent Friends