Friendships are important in our lives and having one or two close confidants is a healthy thing to do for yourself. It is especially important if you are a single parent. Many single parents fall into the trap of trying to make their child their best friend. While it is wonderful to have that close bond and relationship with your child, there are a few things you need to consider.
Best friends should not be children. You need adults to talk to, and more specifically someone who might know what you are going through, or be able to offer advice to you. Your child is not this person.
It is understandable as a single parent, that the one person you are probably closest to, and spend the most time with is your child or children. However, children need to be children as long as they can be, and do not need to accept the responsibility of being your venting machine or other things that can happen.
Making your child your best friend can lead to problems later as they grow older. More than likely it will backfire. As they get older, especially into the teenager years, they will have difficulty respecting your authority because you made them an equal.
While there is nothing wrong with having shopping expeditions with your daughter, or going to see the latest blockbuster action flick with your son, there is a certain element of parental control that still needs to be exercised.
Rules need to be set early, so they are established and followed. There should be consequences for the failure to follow a rule. Don’t think you have to let them off easy because they won’t like you. Children thrive on discipline and structure and would be much better off, and will succeed later in life with these two items put into place in early childhood on up.
Your child can certainly be your friend, and I would never discourage the growth of any parent/child relationship, but please remember who is in charge, who is the leader and the role model. If you fall out of this role, it is extremely difficult to regain the position in teen years.
How do you effectively parent while still being your child’s friend?
Nicole Humphrey writes about the creative and memory preserving side of life and families in the Scrapbooking Blog and Fun Blog, provides helpful hints to blended families and single parents on the Parents Blog, and provides informative tips and advice for students, teachers and parents on the Education Blog. She also guest blogs on a variety of topics. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
Related Articles:
Tips for Surviving Divorce with Children
Four Common Myths About Single Parenting
Be a Better Single Parent in Four Easy Ways
Be a Better Single Parent in Four More Easy Ways
Tips for Single Parents to Build a Good Parent/Child Relationship (1)
Tips for Single Parents to Build a Good Parent/Child Relationship (2)
Tips for Finding a Support Group
Single Parents and Financial Pitfalls to Watch Out For