We already talked about how our marriages can affect our children, but our children can also affect our marriages, sometimes in good ways but unfortunately in not such good ways as well.
There are times when our little darlings can come between us even though that is not actually their intention. It usually occurs when one parent is strict and the other is more lenient. Kids subconsciously learn to pit parents against each other when the two do not present a united front. It is easy to manipulate us, because we adore them.
We want our kids to be happy, so it’s all too easy to give in, even when we know better. Doing so can have a terrible affect on our marital relationships, especially where one spouse feels ignored or undermined, or where one pulls the “I told you so,” routine when kids get into trouble.
It helps is couples discuss childrearing before getting married, but even that won’t cure every problem that comes along. Issues will still arise that we aren’t prepared to handle, but that’s when the teamwork/partnership thing comes into play. We know we’re supposed to solve problems as a team in other areas, but sometimes we forget this fact when it comes to our kids.
If you and your spouse seem to be experiencing more tension than usual when it comes to your kids, it’s important to get these issues out in the open. Also, inform your children that having Mom and Dad at odds isn’t beneficial even it seems to work in getting their way for their moment. Make sure they understand that they aren’t to undermine you, or to ask one of you and then ask the other parent behind your back, in an attempt to get the answer they want.
Having a strong marriage and a strong family as a whole is all about working together, so be sure to consistently present a united front.