Ever since I wrote about personal love myths the other day, I’ve been thinking a little bit more about them. Specifically, I’ve been thinking why I believe it’s not a bad idea spending some time trying to figure out what your personal love myth is if you don’t already know. I believe it holds answers to your relationship.
Especially if your relationship’s enduring any hardships. Because when you identify what your personal love myth is, you’ll identify what your soul’s craving from a relationship –and perhaps not getting.
Expectations
We all have expectations for our relationships. Some are more obvious than others: we want to be married, we want to raise a family, we want security, we want to be adored, et cetera.
But if you understand your personal love myth, you’ll understand what needs you expect your partner to fulfill.
For example, if you believe in love at first sight, you’re going to expect that your partner fell in love with you the moment their eyes landed on your face. If you find out otherwise (or even suspect otherwise), it’s going to breed discontent within your heart. (Even if you find this out 30 years into the relationship.)
Pinpricks
Not that it’ll be a relationship killer. Will you instantly fall out of love with your significant other? I hope not. But it could plant a little pinprick of doubt in your heart and spark questions like “Does he really love me?” or “Is he really the one for me?”
Sometimes a pinprick’s enough to lead to an infection. Suddenly you feel itchy. Then feverish. You find fault with more and more things your mate does. (Or doesn’t do.) Your discontent grows and festers and soon you’ve got a swollen, sore heart in need of major TLC.
Let’s use the love at first sight example. One day a husband and wife married 25 years have a conversation. The wife, a believer in love at first sight, remarks about a daughter’s friend who’s getting married. How it was love at first sight and what a cute couple the pair makes. Then she listens in shock as her husband scoffs about what a silly notion love at first sight is.
That’s her pinprick. The wife believed her own relationship was a love at first sight romance. Her husband’s comment popped that belief.
However, she doesn’t need to suffer in silence or throw her marriage out the window because of it. Tomorrow I’ll address how to repair such maladies when they occur.
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