I struggle with saying no to people. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by people who are willing to help Hailey and I at the drop of a hat, and usually those are not the people who put me in a place where I feel guilty about saying no.
Being a single mother means you have to rely on other people, people who are not your spouse or your child’s other parent. You have to swallow your pride often and ask for help when things get overwhelming. I have trouble asking for help, I don’t ever want to be seen as someone who takes advantage of other people. I don’t want my friends to think I take them for granted, or that their friendship is a means to an end.
As a result of this, I have trouble saying no to people. My true friends rarely ask for my help, they know I have a lot on my plate and don’t want to add to that. When they ask for help, I know they really need it and I am so happy to be able to do something for them in return for all they do for me.
It’s those other people I’m talking about here. We all have those friends, they aren’t really friends because the only time we hear from them is when they need something. Sadly they need something so often that we talk to them more than anyone else.
These people can make Mother Theresa lose her patience. I love being of service to other people. Even though I was the only mother who worked, I also drove the morning car pool. I didn’t mind because it was on my way to work, although I did change my schedule at work to accommodate the carpool. Even after the other moms decided that the kids could walk home from school so we didn’t need an afternoon carpool, I still did the morning one. And when it rained and those moms all thought someone else picked up Hailey so she was left to walk home in the rain, I still did the morning carpool.
These three woman, stay at home moms with husbands, began to treat me like a taxi service. Can you drop this one off at the orthodontist? Can you take that one to my mom’s house because I won’t be home. Can you stop and grab a gallon of milk.
I changed their names to different versions of NO in my phone, now when they call, I know what the answer will be before they ask the question.