This is actually one of my favorite phrases of childhood. I can remember saying it myself on numerous occasions and, I admit that there are still times when I feel myself balking at being “told what to do” by someone and I want to bark, “You’re not the boss of me!” In my own family, my three strong-willed children have often bucked and resisted having anyone tell them what to do—whether it was a parent, sibling, or other authority figure. It seems to be natural for our children to want to be in charge of their own choices and their own destiny and not have everyone else “bossing them around.”
The thing is, even though we are the parents and we rightfully feel as though we are “in charge” of our homes and families—to a certain extent we are NOT the boss of our child. After all, we are really caretakers and parents who are trying to help our children develop into independent, self-regulated individuals—not “yes” people who do whatever they are told by someone else. I certainly feel like I have some say and power in my world of family, but I also have to acknowledge that my children are each on their own individual paths and I might not always no exactly what is right for them. I hate to admit that, but it’s true. Especially as my children get older, there are times when they are more in touch with their own individual path and choices than I am. I might THINK I know and I may actually know each of them far better than they want to admit, but there may be things at play that I’m not aware of.
Guidance and parenting are different than “bossing.” Besides, our kids are more likely to listen to us if they don’t feel as though we are “bossing them around.” Especially as they get older and need to feel more in control of their own choices and destiny.
See Also: Who’s the Boss at Your House? and Four Words I Promised I Would Never Say as a Parent