Sometimes I think I may read too much. I recently read an article that said marriage may be a luxury item, only available to the well educated. Can this be true? Is this what is holding so many single mothers back from pursuing a relationship that could end in marriage?
I know there are so many more factors to consider when you are a single mother, that is one of the reasons I’m still single. We worry about how our children will take another man in their lives, how they will adapt to instant siblings and an entire family they weren’t born into. There will be grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who don’t have the same bond with your child that they have with your new husbands child. Of course, the same applies to his children.
Then there are the financial considerations. Hopefully the man you are marrying is a responsible adult and does his share to support his children, paying child support and helping with daycare, dance classes, summer camp and braces. What if your ex only pays what the state makes him pay and then only sporadically. Will your new husband come to resent the fact that he is shouldering the bulk of the financial responsibility for your children? Or if his ex wife makes unreasonable financial demands and he gives in to her, will you resent what your children do without? How will you deal with those things?
Then there is the issue of time, if all parties involved do their part and spend time with their children, what if you have his children when yours are gone, and have your children when his are gone, where is the time for the two of you? Which set of children get left with a sitter so the two of you can have some time together?
There are so many considerations that maybe for previously married people with children, remarriage is a luxury. Only available to those for whom money is not an issue and time is abundant. The rest of us will just have to muddle through the best we can. Loving each other and the children we have been blessed with while trying to figure everything out.